Section 1.1: Dreams Beyond Traditional Roles

I never envisioned myself growing up, nor did I dream of a fairy tale with a charming prince, an elaborate wedding, or a daughter who resembled me. Instead, my aspirations revolved around meeting Oprah, hoping she’d endorse my books with her prestigious “book club” sticker. My desires were simple: financial security, stability, and abundant opportunities.

From a young age, I created vision boards, with my first at six years old illustrating me driving a pink convertible accompanied by a briefcase—not a partner, but a briefcase. Love and family were foreign concepts, and I never felt a true sense of belonging. I craved a safe haven amid life’s chaos.

Even as a child, I recognized that financial stability offered the power to have a home of one’s own, sparing me the ordeal of relocating every few months. I distinctly recall the moment I resolved to chase financial success. At just thirteen, while preparing for my first day in a new school, I understood that I didn’t want to feel powerless in life. Money became my primary focus.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Weight of Responsibility

Years later, as I began to prioritize my mental well-being, I realized that motherhood wasn't for me. I needed to nurture myself instead. For too long, I had played the role of mentor, big sister, and mother to others while neglecting my own needs.

Historically, Black women who were enslaved were forced into roles of caretaking, not only for their own children but for others as well. After slavery, job opportunities remained dismally limited, compelling Black women to continue in caregiving roles to survive. This obligation to nurture rather than a desire to do so has become a generational burden.

I refuse to spend my life caring for everyone but myself. My commitment to self-preservation is resolute. If I don’t prioritize my own well-being, who else will?

Section 1.2: A Life of Freedom and Exploration

Now that I’ve embraced self-love, I wish to love myself entirely—without reservations or apologies. I aspire to explore the world with open eyes, free from an overflowing inbox or a jam-packed schedule filled with Zoom calls.

I dream of passionate moments on balconies in Trinidad during my 40s, spontaneous trips to Europe in my 50s to discover unique jewelry and savor vegan flan. I envision spending leisurely hours in my garden, serenading the plants, encouraging them to thrive without the pressure of time.

I long to wander for hours until my feet ache, reminiscing about youth and fading memories. I want to dance joyfully in my kitchen, laughing with my partner, my heart fully engaged, knowing that I don’t have to rise early the next day unless I truly want to.

I don’t aspire to be a mother, but I am more than willing to be the fun aunt for anyone in my life with children who could use a break. I’m here to share wisdom, bake cookies, and read stories, but only for a few hours at a time. My life is finally mine.