Chapter 1: The Weight of Thoughts

For a long time, I’ve been immersed in these reflections by myself, but I feel compelled to share them now. I hope you're prepared for this journey!

By the end of this narrative, you may question my mental state or suggest I seek professional help. However, I assure you, I’m simply a deep thinker with a vivid imagination. Some might label me as irrational for pondering the possibility of awareness prior to birth. But what if that were true? Imagine being able to converse with the angel who decided my circumstances before I entered this world. What if I could preview the script of my life before embarking on this journey? Could I have altered my fate?

Perhaps I could have taken some creative liberties, maybe even made myself a twin to Anna Margaret, who shares my birthday. Primarily, I would question my guiding angel about my current situation. Surely, my parents aren’t responsible for this; they are wonderful people. But why must I belong to a marginalized race? Why am I part of a group that is often overlooked? Why am I placed in one of the world's most challenging countries? Why must I exert twice the effort to attain what others consider basic necessities? Why Africa? Why Nigeria? Why Black? Why Me?

Even if I could somehow confront the angel and express my frustrations, I suspect I would still find myself in a precarious situation. This seemingly absurd line of questioning emerged after watching an interview with Gary Vee, where he stated, “Be grateful for what you have; no matter your struggles, someone else is enduring greater hardships.”

Indeed! If you believe that two laptops are insufficient for your writing endeavors, consider the reality of writers like me and my fellow African authors, who manage all our projects on a single inadequate device. If you feel your freelance income is inadequate, think of those of us who would cherish such earnings over the span of a month.

The essence of the matter is clear: cultivate gratitude for your circumstances and recognize that others have faced even greater challenges and still thrived. Persist in putting forth your best effort, until even the angel assigned to your journey is taken aback.

If you’ve engaged with this brief reflection up to this point, you possess a remarkable character. I genuinely appreciate your attention. I will be sharing another piece soon. If you’d like to receive it directly in your inbox, click here for the next story. Additionally, if you enjoy my writing and wish to support me, click here to become a genuine Medium Member.

Section 1.1: The Complexity of Identity

The exploration of identity, especially in relation to race and background, can be a profound journey.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Role of Gratitude

Gratitude serves as a powerful tool for perspective, reminding us of the struggles others endure.

Chapter 2: Finding Purpose in Struggle

The video titled "Jessie Murph - If I Died Last Night (Official Video)" explores themes of existence and personal struggle, resonating deeply with the reflections shared here. In it, Jessie Murph captures the essence of confronting one's reality, inspiring viewers to find strength amidst their challenges.