Chapter 1: Rethinking Life’s Milestones

At 14, I confidently asserted, “I’ll be married by 30,” during a discussion with my best friend from high school. She envisioned marrying in her twenties and having kids by 30. Our grand ambitions included becoming surgeons and opening a joint clinic. These milestones felt crucial to us. Fast forward to the present—we're both 38, contentedly single, and child-free. She pursued a career as a GP, while I ventured into Economics and opened a fitness center, far from the corporate track I once believed was my destiny. It's clear we never anticipated the lives we now lead.

Society often presents a series of milestones that we are conditioned to check off like a to-do list:

• College
• Partner
• Successful Job
• Children
• Advanced Education
• Promotion
• Retirement

Life, however, is far more than a straightforward journey marked by these societal milestones. It is a winding path filled with unexpected turns, where the real destination is often not a place but a state of being, understanding, and acceptance. At 14, I was unaware that our lives are a journey in themselves, with every experience contributing to our growth.

Milestones such as finding a partner or earning a degree are merely steps along the path of discovering life’s deeper lessons and fulfilling our true potential. At that age, my primary concern was whether my crush noticed me (he didn’t). I looked forward to adulthood and significant choices, like:

• Choosing a major I’d be proud of
• Marrying my ideal partner
• Deciding on the number of children
• Climbing the career ladder
• Planning my retirement age

It seemed straightforward; after all, everyone else appeared to be doing it. Yet, I sensed we were all navigating tributaries converging into the same river.

Historically, women in the 1800s faced a nearly predetermined path with little room for personal choice. In the Paleolithic era, the daily agenda was simple: survive, find food, seek shelter, and repeat. There was once a time when clear paths did not exist, and humanity embraced endless possibilities. Norms we accept today were once exceptions.

History, with its share of surprises, reminds us that possibilities are limitless, and what seems set in stone can change. While society has become rigid over time, we now live in an era where once-clear commands have become suggestions about how to look, behave, and live.

• “This is how you should look”
• “This is how you should act”
• “This is what you should pursue in life”
• “This is who you should love”

Our challenge is to expand these societal norms to reflect the diversity of human experience. Society should adapt to humanity, not the other way around. The realization that true choice comes from within rather than from an external checklist is liberating. Listening to our inner voice—often drowned out by societal expectations—leads to true freedom, revealing that this power has always belonged to us.

When I was young, I had my ears pierced, a rite of passage symbolized by two pretty pearls. Later, in my teenage rebellion, I decided to add a few more piercings. The reactions were predictable—disgust and horror. I questioned, “Why is one per ear acceptable?” The answer was simply tradition, an excuse for not questioning our choices.

In the midst of societal “shoulds,” it's essential to remember that we have the power to define our own lives. Who knows? Someday, those additional piercings might be seen as normal.

Human history is not permanent. We've evolved significantly, but the journey ahead remains long. Our 'Possibilities Frontier,' the ever-expanding realm of what we can achieve, think, and become, is continuously pushed by the brave and the restless.

Let’s continue to pursue these possibilities by staying true to ourselves, ensuring our actions are not harmful to others.

Chapter 2: Finding Your Voice Amid Societal Expectations

How can we discover our voice amidst societal pressures? Here’s some unsolicited advice:

1. Introspection: What ignites your passion?
2. Mindfulness: Trust your instincts; they know more than you think.
3. Experiment: Always wanted to try the ukulele? Go for it! Worst case, you annoy your neighbors.
4. Recognize Patterns: If you're always the photographer, explore that interest.
5. Seek a Second Opinion (or Not): Fresh perspectives can help, but remember it's your life.
6. Embrace Change: Accept it as a constant in life.
7. Follow Joy, Not Obligation: If it feels like a chore, it probably isn't your calling.
8. Listen to Your Body: It can be a reliable guide to your emotions.
9. Journaling: Write everything down; you’ll be surprised by your insights.
10. Trust Your Instincts: They were right about your high school crush, and they’re right about your path.

People can be like that well-meaning but slightly clueless relative. They often mean well, but sometimes you just have to smile, nod, and follow your own path. Although influenced by movies, parents, friends, and social media, the truth remains: your journey is yours to create.

If your life today doesn't match the vision you had at 14, that's okay. You might have made bold choices, like changing careers or exploring new hobbies. You don’t need all the answers; it’s about finding your rhythm and dancing to your own beat—even if it gets messy and unpredictable at times.

That’s life—and it’s what makes it wonderfully, gloriously yours.