Chapter 1: The Opportunity of Being Between Jobs

Experiencing a break from work can serve as a unique chance for personal growth and individuation.

For a considerable time, my friends would often joke about my frequent job changes. Whenever we would catch up, they’d eagerly inquire about my current employment, and I’d provide a different answer each time. This led me to ponder why this was happening.

Many tried to interpret my situation for me, suggesting I was easily bored, lacking motivation, or just plain lazy—something most can relate to on a Monday morning, right? One career advisor even hinted that I was exhibiting a 'pattern of work avoidance,' which didn’t feel supportive at all.

The real struggle during these periods of unemployment is to resist the urge to view the situation as a personal failing. I believe that, for most, it isn’t about being a bad person. My realization was much simpler: I was on a quest for a job that truly resonated with me. Much of my past work simply did not fit.

Is finding the right job akin to finding the right jacket? Absolutely. I definitely don’t suit tweed.

Interestingly, over time, the same friends I thought were criticizing me began to express admiration for my courage in pursuing what I wanted in life. Perhaps I was finally ready to hear their compliments, or maybe my tendency to criticize myself had clouded my perception. Their concern for my well-being was valid, especially in the context of joblessness. Shouldn’t we all feel a bit uneasy in such situations?

Another recurring theme in our discussions was the notion that I was starting from a place of privilege. This was often framed as a critique. Who dares to seek out work that aligns with their true self? Isn’t survival the main objective?

One crucial piece of advice: steer clear of a 'survival mode' mindset whenever possible. I’ll delve into that more later.

I often found myself contemplating whether it was feasible to envision a world where jobs weren’t merely sources of stress but avenues to leverage our best skills for the benefit of our communities and society at large.

Would you prefer a doctor who always aspired to be an architect? Or a dentist with a passion for gardening? Did those questioning my privilege truly know their life’s purpose? Finding meaningful work is certainly challenging but worthwhile.

Engaging in conversations with someone who is disengaged from their work for over 70% of their waking hours isn’t enjoyable for anyone. While you can acknowledge the discomfort, you can also take steps to ensure that who you are in your professional life reflects your true self.

The time to explore this could be right now. When you find yourself out of work, it’s true you may experience financial strain and heightened anxiety, but you also gain the gift of time.

Regarding finances: it’s beneficial to have a clear understanding of how long your savings will sustain you during unemployment, based on your weekly expenses—even if it’s stressful. This assumes you have savings and can make do with basic staples. More on that later.

Chapter 2: The Concept of Individuation

Individuation is a term I’ve long been fascinated by, especially in the context of Jung’s work. I’ve even referred to myself as a 'Jungian' art therapist at times. His insights on consciousness and the messages from our dreams, along with the importance of being truthful with ourselves, have always resonated with me.

Individuation, in essence, can be summarized as 'self-realization' and discovering a more authentic version of oneself. As Jung stated, “The aim of individuation is nothing less than to divest the self of the false wrappings of the persona” (Jung, 1935).

Side Note: The term 'persona' originates from Greek theatre, referring to the masks actors wore to portray different characters or emotions.

The process of individuation encourages us to look beyond the personas—the masks we don to convey who we are to others. Often, these masks can be inauthentic.

Side Note: This concept differs from 'masking,' which refers to learned behaviors that help individuals, particularly those on the autism spectrum, fit into societal norms. More on that in another article.

In my view, having a break from work, despite its inherent challenges, is an ideal time for introspection, peeling back the layers of our personas to uncover our authentic selves. I once experimented with this by taking selfies, realizing that I rarely captured an image of myself without a smile. So, I took a serious selfie and reflected on my internal reactions. Portraiture can be a revealing medium for self-exploration.

Jung's Journey of Self-Discovery

When I learned that Jung kept a dream journal for decades and even constructed a stone tower based on his recurring dreams in Bolligen, Switzerland, I was fascinated.

Would you have labeled Jung as 'unemployed' during that time? Perhaps not; he appeared to be embracing a form of retirement. What’s clear is that he was still actively engaging in self-expansion and exploration.

There’s a rumor that Freud suggested Jung experienced a psychotic break during the construction of his tower. While that’s an intriguing perspective, I see no evidence supporting it. Regardless, it may have offered Jung a path to rediscover himself.

Make Time for Self-Exploration

Returning to the idea of being 'between jobs'… amidst the search for your next opportunity, it’s vital to carve out time for self-reflection. This practice can greatly benefit you now and in the future.

During my last period of unemployment, I designated every Monday for self-exploration. In a previous job lull, I chose early morning sunrises for a month as my designated time.

On those Mondays, I began photographing the world around me. This endeavor led me to participate in gallery exhibitions, and I realized I didn’t want to work on Mondays again. This insight significantly narrowed my job search.

I sought better pay and part-time opportunities, ultimately finding an employer who valued mental health and was accommodating.

Unexpectedly, this left me with time to study new paths. While this designated time didn’t eliminate the stress of unemployment, it helped me recognize that my worth wasn’t solely tied to my financial contributions.

These early morning sessions rekindled my appreciation for nature and showed me that I didn’t actually dislike waking up early.

Step by Step Towards Individuation

What do others think about this period of downtime?

The theory of individuation encompasses external influences alongside individual growth. Jung’s contributions were groundbreaking because they acknowledged societal input, contrasting Freud’s focus on individual experiences.

We are perpetually processing feedback from those around us. Even in isolation, our perception of how society views us is never far from our minds.

Utilize this external feedback to enhance your personal development. Be mindful, however, that our interpretations often stem from self-deception or entrenched narratives.

I believed my friends viewed me as lazy or a joke, but they were, in fact, admiring my persistence and approach to work. I simply couldn’t hear their messages over my internal doubts regarding success and work ethic.

Change Your Language

I discovered that I disliked labeling myself as 'unemployed' due to the negative societal implications associated with it. The persona of 'unemployed' often felt derogatory and defeatist.

Instead, I began saying I was 'between jobs,' which accurately described my situation. While my next job wasn’t always an improvement, it was often a better fit.

What I learned about myself was empowering enough to feel I was edging closer to being 'individuated.'

Next time someone inquires about your job search, consider telling them you’re in the process of individuation.

In the video titled "How Patrick Scaled His STR Business to 40 Units in Colombia (Ep517)," Patrick shares insights on achieving success in short-term rentals, providing inspiration for those navigating their own career paths.