Finding Faith in Self-Help

“You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero

Sincero opens her book with a thought-provoking statement:

> “What little I knew about the self-help/spiritual world I found to be unforgivably cheesy: it reeked of desperation, rah-rah churchiness and unwanted hugs from unappealing strangers. And don’t even get me started on how grouchy I used to be about God.”

She continues:

> “At the same time, there was all this stuff about my life that I desperately wanted to change, and had I been able to bulldoze through my holier-than-thouism, I could have really used some help around here.”

I resonate with Sincero’s sentiments. I once thought self-help was only for those in dire situations, and I had no idea it involved spirituality. By the time I turned thirty, I had earned a Master’s degree in Religion yet felt disconnected from my purpose.

Although I believed in God, my sense of calling had faded. I felt aimless, unsure of how to reach my aspirations.

Like Sincero, I could have greatly benefited from the guidance that self-help books offer. Her candidness about her skepticism made her writing more relatable, allowing me to connect with her journey.

In the remainder of You Are a Badass, Sincero discusses various concepts and practices from the self-help realm that transformed her life. By the end of the book, I found myself inspired by her happiness. If she could achieve joy, I thought, perhaps I could too.

Conquering Fear

“Adventures for Your Soul: 21 Ways to Transform Your Habits and Reach Your Full Potential” by Shannon Kaiser

Kaiser shares a powerful mantra:

> “I belong and fit in the world just as I am. The world needs me to express my true self.”

I chose this quote because it addresses my personal fear of inadequacy, a belief shaped by societal expectations that my “best” may never be enough.

Our culture often demands more from us, instilling a craving for instant gratification. If I can't achieve what I desire immediately, it suggests that something is wrong with me.

While I recognize this mindset is flawed, its impact is undeniable. Living in a culture obsessed with quick results, I’ve been conditioned to doubt myself if success isn’t instantaneous. For instance, the allure of “get rich quick” schemes is pervasive.

Moreover, society often commodifies happiness, as highlighted in countless advertisements, which sell not just products but also the illusion of joy.

In this fast-paced quest for happiness, I struggled with self-esteem, feeling inadequate amidst a backdrop that constantly marketed happiness. If joy is so readily available, why was I still unhappy?

Through reading Kaiser’s work, I learned an invaluable truth: there is nothing wrong with me. As she affirms, “I belong and fit in the world just as I am.” This realization fuels my daily writing, a means of expressing my authentic self.

“The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level” by Gay Hendricks

Hendricks offers practical wisdom:

> “The best advice I can give you is to take big, easy breaths when you feel fear. Feel the fear instead of pretending it’s not there. Celebrate it with a big breath, just the way you’d celebrate your birthday by taking a big breath and blowing out all the candles on your cake. Do that, and your fear turns into excitement.”

This insight has been transformative. When facing significant goals, I often express to friends that I feel “excited and terrified.” Setting goals aligned with my true potential feels akin to falling in love—there’s immense risk and reward.

Hendricks’s guidance is straightforward yet effective: to alleviate fear, breathe into it. His formula can be summed up as:

> Fear + Breath = Excitement

By practicing conscious breathing, we can counteract the effects of fear. This strategy works—try it next time you feel daunted by a challenge. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that what you're experiencing may actually be excitement. You might be surprised at how quickly your mood shifts.

Spiritual Development and Life’s Richness

It's fascinating how self-help literature often delves into spirituality. In many respects, these books serve as guides to living a spiritually enriched life.

“Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness” by Vex King

King states:

> “To sustain happiness, you must work towards self-mastery. It’s an inward journey that requires substantial spiritual growth. Choosing empowering thoughts over limiting ones should become your natural way of thinking.”

King links self-mastery with spirituality and the selection of empowering thoughts. Previously, I viewed thought selection as merely psychological, but I now see its spiritual significance.

Through spiritual practices like prayer and meditation, I have enhanced my capacity to choose uplifting thoughts. This realization underscores the mind-body-spirit connection; our thoughts foster a dialogue with ourselves, shaping our spiritual experiences.

“Think and Grow Rich for Women: Using Your Power to Create Success and Significance” by Sharon Lechter

Lechter shares a valuable perspective from Angela Totman:

> “Achieving balance may be the wrong goal. All we can do is make the best choices we can, guided by our values, priorities, and ambitions. These choices are not always easy. But being present in the moment after making those decisions is the key.”

I appreciate this book for amplifying women’s voices through quotes and stories. Totman suggests that the pursuit of “balance” may be misguided, especially for women who are often questioned about balancing work and family.

Instead of fixating on balance, we should focus on making choices rooted in our values. Evidence supports that living in alignment with our values leads to genuine happiness.

“Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires” by Esther and Jerry Hicks

Hicks states:

> “When you understand the power of feeling good now, no matter what, you will hold the key to the achievement of any state of being, any state of health, any state of wealth, or any state of anything that you desire.”

Esther Hicks channels a collective of metaphysical spirits known as Abraham, who teach the Law of Attraction. While this book bears the names of Esther and her late husband Jerry, it is essentially written through the voice of Abraham.

This quote emphasizes that by cultivating a positive mindset in the present, we can manifest our desires. Abraham asserts that our ultimate goal in wanting anything is to feel good—essentially, we all seek happiness.

For months, I have prioritized feeling good, and it has transformed my life. I now engage in work I love and write about subjects I am passionate about. Did I manifest this reality? It certainly feels that way.

“The Power of I AM: Two Words That Will Change Your Life Today” by Joel Osteen

Osteen declares:

> “You are where you are today in part because of what you’ve been saying about yourself. Words are like seeds. When you speak something out, you give life to what you’re saying. If you continue to say it, eventually that can become a reality . . . you are prophesying your future.”

Since reading this book in July, I’ve integrated Osteen's teachings into my daily routine. His assertion resonates whether you subscribe to the Law of Attraction or positive psychology.

Our words shape our reality. Importantly, the thoughts we internalize may hold even greater power than spoken words, as we generate around 60,000 thoughts each day.

Each morning, I start my day with prayer, speaking aloud to my Higher Power, and I’ve been incorporating Osteen’s affirmations as a form of prayer.

Believing that words are seeds, I focus on nurturing positive affirmations in my life. Osteen emphasizes that God delights in fulfilling our heart’s desires (Psalm 37:4).

I desire happiness, so I consciously speak uplifting words every day, which has made a profound difference. I pay particular attention to speaking positively about myself, knowing that I am my most constant companion, and fostering a friendly relationship with myself can lead to remarkable improvements.

“Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams” by Gabrielle Bernstein

Bernstein states:

> “Being a Super Attractor means that what I believe is what I receive. I can co-create the world I want to see by aligning with good-feeling emotions and directing them toward my desires. I can tap into an unlimited source of creative energy to contribute inspired ideas, offer wisdom, receive abundance, and feel free.”

This book is my favorite on the list, and that’s saying a lot.

Gabby Bernstein is a personal inspiration. Having overcome addiction and surrendered to a Higher Power, she now serves as an impactful spiritual teacher.

If I were to retitle Super Attractor, I’d call it: “How Cultivating a Relationship with Your Higher Power Creates Sustainable Happiness.” Nothing against Gabby’s title, but I prefer mine.

Gabby references Abraham (Esther) Hicks frequently, emphasizing that aligning with positive emotions can help us manifest our desires.

I always keep a pencil handy while reading nonfiction. When I started Super Attractor, I noted “promise” next to every statement I perceived as a promise.

When Bernstein mentions tapping into “an unlimited source of creative energy,” it resonates deeply with me. I want that. Over the past six months, I’ve revisited her works and applied her teachings daily.

As a result, I’ve felt happier in the last six months than I did in the previous six years.

Self-Love: The Key to Happiness

“The Self-Love Experiment: 15 Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself” by Shannon Kaiser

Kaiser advises:

> “Stop focusing on the flaws or things you dislike and tunnel vision yourself into looking only at what is going well. The law of attraction will play in your favor when you choose to align with the energetic vibration of good and joy. Your only mission is to focus on the good.”

I believe the most crucial time to focus on the positive is when reflecting on ourselves. Thus, I consciously aim to recognize the good within me whenever I think or speak about myself.

And there’s so much good to celebrate!

One way I achieve this is by acknowledging every small accomplishment. This practice has helped me realize that many seemingly “minor” achievements are, in fact, significant.

For instance, after writing a story like this one, I often exclaim:

> “Yes! I did it! I wrote a story today! How cool is that?!”

Celebrating my writing reminds me that it’s a meaningful endeavor. Regardless of how quickly or easily I write, it matters to me.

By recognizing and celebrating each success, I remind myself of my purpose and, more importantly, my capability to shape the life I desire.

“Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness” by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

Hanson shares:

> “The Golden Rule is a two-way street: we should do unto ourselves as we do unto others . . . the more influence we have over someone, the more responsibility we have to treat them well . . . If you think of yourself as someone to whom you have a duty of care and kindness, what might change in how you talk to yourself, and in how you go about your day?”

I appreciate this perspective from Rick Hanson. It emphasizes that our primary responsibility is to care for and be kind to ourselves.

Since I spend more time with myself than with anyone else and possess significant influence over my own thoughts and actions, this is vital. My internal dialogue shapes my well-being more than I realize.

Hanson's book has equipped me with essential self-care techniques, particularly the notion that focusing on positive experiences can enhance our overall happiness.

It may seem simple, but we often neglect it, and Hanson offers concrete strategies for doing so.

“Madly In Love With Me: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend” by Christine Arylo

Arylo defines self-love as:

> “Self-love is the unconditional love and respect that I have for myself that is so deep, so solid, so unwavering that I choose only situations and relationships — including the one I have with myself — that reflect that same unconditional love and respect.”

I admire Arylo’s definition of self-love, characterized by “unconditional” and “unwavering.” This is the essence of true self-love.

By regularly revisiting this book and Arylo’s definition, I am reminded that I have the power to make choices that promote respect and support—especially when I extend that kindness to myself daily.

“Women & Money: Be Strong, Be Smart, Be Secure” by Suze Orman

Orman asserts:

> “I believe that there is something incredibly powerful in the act of saying your name. I might even go so far as to say that it is the symbolic key to unlocking your powerful self.”

Suze Orman is a personal hero of mine. After hearing her speak at a celebration in New Orleans in 2008, I became even more inspired.

When I encountered this quote in Women & Money, I immediately went to the mirror, looked at my reflection, and proclaimed:

> “Hi, my name is Amy Hartsough, it’s nice to meet you.”

Saying my name felt empowering! I felt proud and grateful to be who I am.

Orman is renowned for providing solid financial guidance, but I also found her words encouraging and uplifting, which is invaluable.

In my pursuit of happiness, self-help books have played a crucial role—especially within this genre. Numerous factors contribute to my happiness as well.

More accurately, many elements in my life remind me of my happiness when I choose to acknowledge them (read the books to understand this better).

By sharing these quotes and reflections, I hope you find something meaningful. I encourage you to explore these books! My admiration for them inspired this writing. I’m eager to hear what you’re currently reading.