How I Discovered Serenity After Losing Everything in a Day
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I have always leaned towards minimalism in various aspects of my life—whether in my work, clothing choices, friendships, or diet. I firmly believe that quality is far more important than quantity. However, this belief faced a significant test when I lost all my possessions in a single day.
Here’s What Happened
We had a mere three days to vacate our home after deciding to rent it out, believing it would take time to find a tenant. Unbeknownst to us, someone expressed interest and made an offer with an immediate requirement to move in at the start of the month, which was just three days away.
In a rush, we stored everything except for one suitcase. With that suitcase, we traveled across the country for our wedding—perfect timing, right?
Just two days post-wedding in Florida, I received a call that turned our world upside down. Our storage unit had been broken into, and everything was gone. The details were murky; the employee responsible had been let go, and all that remained was an empty unit. The stark reality hit hard: Our unit was empty.
I lost precious ultrasound images of my baby, her first footprint, her newborn clothes, her crib, and all the cherished items we had collected for her arrival. My ten years of diaries vanished, along with my entire collection of clothes, shoes, and accessories. I even lost my childhood flute, a rare silver piece, along with photo albums, scrapbooks, love letters, and gifts yet to be opened from our baby shower.
Experiencing such a loss felt like a violation. The countless hours, effort, and money invested in each possession seemed to have been discarded without a second thought.
The foundational principles I had built my life upon were put to the test like never before. Yet, to the surprise of many, I found myself okay. After the initial shock, I acknowledged the situation was indeed frustrating, but I went on with my day.
My husband and I often find ourselves remembering lost items and lamenting, “Oh, that’s so annoying,” only to move forward without dwelling on it. Friends and family were astonished by my response, prompting me to reflect on the principles that enabled me to handle this loss with resilience. The values and frameworks I live by stem from various books, which I now share:
1. Essentialism (Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown)
“Our highest priority is to protect our ability to prioritize.” — Greg McKeown
Essentialism teaches us to focus solely on what truly matters for our happiness and progress. McKeown's work highlights the dangers of a culture that glorifies busyness, which often leads to stress and burnout. He advocates for an essentialist mindset, encouraging us to say “no” to non-essential commitments and concentrate on areas where we can have the most significant impact.
By creating space for reflection and allowing ourselves to let go of the fear of missing out, we can focus on our strengths and passions. McKeown emphasizes that there can be only one priority at a time. For me, that priority is my family.
Although I lost many material belongings, my family remained intact—my husband and child were there, healthy and happy. Everything else is just background noise, nice but not necessary.
While “Essentialism” isn't solely about minimalism, its principles apply to our relationship with our possessions. McKeown highlights that we often accumulate unnecessary items, leading to clutter. He encourages us to evaluate our belongings regularly and consider whether each item adds genuine value to our lives.
Though I lost significant assets, the book's discussion on the endowment effect resonated with me. It prompts us to ask, “If I didn't own this item, what would I pay to get it back?” There are certainly items, like my baby's ultrasound images, that I would pay dearly to have back. Nevertheless, no material asset is as valuable as the qualities I possess: my identity, family, and motivation.
2. Stoicism (Meditations by Marcus Aurelius)
“If you seek tranquility, do less.” — Marcus Aurelius
Stoicism emphasizes cultivating inner virtues while accepting what lies beyond our control. This philosophy is a daily practice for me. Material possessions are viewed as indifferent in Stoicism; their worth is determined by their use.
Marcus Aurelius's Meditations offers profound insights into the transience of life and the importance of virtuous living. He reminds us that all physical belongings are ephemeral. This understanding helped me to put my material loss into perspective.
3. Living in the Present (The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle)
“The mind unconsciously loves problems because they give you an identity of sorts.” — Eckhart Tolle
The reality is that once my belongings were gone, they were gone. No amount of wishing or regretting could change that. I had to confront the truth and embrace the present moment—an idea central to Tolle's teachings.
Tolle argues that many individuals become trapped in their thoughts and emotions, hindering their ability to find inner peace. By focusing on the present and accepting our circumstances, we can overcome mental barriers and achieve contentment.
Techniques for developing present-moment awareness, such as mindfulness meditation, have been invaluable in helping me cope with loss by keeping me anchored in the now.
4. Relentless Acceptance Over Victimhood (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson)
“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” — Mark Manson
We live in an era that often embraces victimhood. While I support open discussions about mental health, it's essential to recognize the strength found in acceptance.
Acceptance does not imply blame or responsibility. I was not at fault for my belongings being stolen. Instead of seeking sympathy on social media, I chose to embrace acceptance over victimhood.
This philosophy, which I term relentless acceptance, involves acknowledging the reality of a situation without resorting to feelings of despair or vengeance. It’s simply recognizing, “That’s unfortunate. Let’s accept it and move forward.”
Manson's book challenges the conventional self-help narrative that promotes constant positivity, advocating instead for the acceptance of negative experiences. He encourages individuals to view discomfort and failure as opportunities for growth, emphasizing the importance of responding proactively to challenges.
Final Words
Indeed, losing all my possessions was a tough experience. However, I recognize that worse situations happen daily to countless individuals worldwide. Perspective is powerful, and it’s a lesson I’ve learned from the aforementioned books and principles.
I am grateful to thinkers like Marcus Aurelius, Greg McKeown, Mark Manson, and Eckhart Tolle for their invaluable insights. It’s crucial to seek and practice guiding principles in life so that when disaster strikes, we can stand firm like a tree against a hurricane.