Mental Health and Work

Matilda, a highly educated professional in a large corporation, faced difficulties in building relationships with her colleagues and clients. Despite excelling in technical skills and receiving commendable performance reviews, her interpersonal interactions consistently fell short.

Initially, Matilda attributed her challenges to perceived mistreatment by her supervisors. However, after reflecting on her high scores in other areas, she realized that there were deeper issues at play. Seeking clarity, she approached her direct manager for feedback.

The conversation was difficult for her; her manager's candid observations struck a nerve, particularly the label of being judgmental. Hurt, Matilda turned to a trusted mentor, who suggested obtaining anonymous 360-degree feedback from peers and clients.

The results were revealing: every respondent described Matilda as “disapproving reactively.” This prompted her to set aside her ego and acknowledge her shortcomings. With her mentor's guidance, Matilda devised a plan to enhance her communication skills.

1 — Mindful Observation

Matilda discovered that childhood insecurities had led her to react hastily in conversations. Her mentor introduced mindfulness techniques, encouraging her to observe her thoughts and feelings during interactions.

Initially challenging, Matilda learned to focus her mind and improved her ability to switch tasks. She practiced mindfulness through daily meditation and self-conversation, significantly enhancing her attention and focus.

2 — Resisting Immediate Reactions

Matilda's quick-fire responses often came across as hostile, despite her good intentions. To combat this, her mentor suggested she practice deep breathing and count to five before replying.

Although this technique was difficult for her overactive mind, it gradually helped her to weaken ingrained habits and foster new ones.

3 — Reframing Responses

Learning to reframe her thoughts was another critical step for Matilda. Despite knowing the theory from her studies, she struggled to apply it verbally. Her mentor encouraged her to create multiple, softer versions of her responses.

With practice and support from mentors and friends, Matilda successfully transitioned her writing skills to verbal communication, enriching her interactions with a more positive tone.

Conclusions and Takeaways

Mindfulness practices, though gaining popularity recently, have historical roots across various cultures. These methods help us to regulate emotions and enhance cognitive flexibility, essential components of emotional intelligence.

Even with her education, Matilda's emotional responses often overshadowed her communication during stressful encounters. It took external insights for her to realize this.

Here are five key takeaways from Matilda's story:

1. Observing thoughts and emotions is crucial for sound decision-making.
2. Controlling immediate reactions is vital for healthy communication.
3. Reframing thoughts can significantly improve the quality of dialogue.
4. Empathy and compassion foster better communication and mutual empowerment.
5. Acknowledging weaknesses and seeking guidance can enhance communication skills.

Through these actionable insights, Matilda cultivated exceptional verbal communication skills, leading to fulfilling relationships with colleagues and clients, improved mental health, and a perfect score in her next performance appraisal. This transformation ultimately paved the way for her advancement within the organization.

Thank you for taking the time to explore Matilda's journey. Wishing you a fulfilling and healthy life.