Maintaining a Basic Level of Decorum

It's challenging, yet we must strive for it.

One of the significant hurdles for modern women is keeping their cool amidst challenges, particularly when faced with the potential for viral embarrassment on social media. The ideal response? Keep a cheerful demeanor, akin to a plastic Barbie smile, throughout the day.

The issue of public meltdowns caught on camera isn't new; it was highlighted in 1996 when the renowned Icelandic artist Björk confronted a photographer who was intruding on her son's privacy. This incident led to widespread ridicule, showcasing how a single moment can spiral into global shame. This phenomenon persists today, as public shaming often becomes a sport for onlookers. John Potter, an associate professor at Southern Methodist University, echoes this sentiment, stating that public shaming is largely counterproductive.

Three Risks of Public Outbursts

As a middle-aged woman who appears to lead a charmed life, losing your composure can invite public scorn. Whether this is just or not is debatable, but the risks are undeniable:

1. Escalation. Losing your temper can quickly spiral out of control, impacting how others respond and how you react in turn.

   > “I remember needing a birthday cake for my daughter. Instead of ordering ahead, I rushed into a store and demanded a cake. When I was told it wasn't possible until the next day, I lost my cool and yelled. It was embarrassing, and in hindsight, I realized it was my fault for not planning ahead.” — Candace Cameron Bure

2. Reputation. With everyone recording, your outburst can be seen by acquaintances and colleagues alike, tarnishing your reputation.

3. Humiliation. Even if a moment of frustration is out of character, it can quickly become a trending topic, amplifying your embarrassment.

Avoiding Meltdowns: Don’t Step on Broken Glass

Public outbursts can manifest in bizarre ways, like yelling at a neighbor at dawn while they're live-streaming. These moments can have unforeseen consequences, damaging your reputation without your knowledge as gossip spreads.

Three Strategies for Staying Calm and Smiling

1. Breathwork. Deep breathing can slow your body's stress response and help you regain control. Focus on your breath to distract from irritations around you.

   Inhale deeply through your nose, envision a serene place, hold briefly, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Just a few minutes of this practice can significantly calm you down.

2. Gratitude. Reflect on three things you appreciate in your life to shift your mindset from negativity. Maintaining a grateful perspective can help you keep your cool during frustrating moments.

3. Rephrasing. In today’s world, it’s essential to master the art of rephrasing your thoughts positively before expressing them. Instead of saying something harsh, choose a kinder alternative. This practice helps you avoid creating a viral moment of shame.

> “The immediate response of shaming someone without context is almost always detrimental.” — John Potter

Concluding Thoughts: Embrace Composure

In conclusion, avoiding confrontational situations and maintaining a calm demeanor is crucial. By practicing patience and staying composed, you can spare yourself future embarrassment and, ultimately, enhance your reputation.

References

Lieber, D. (2020, May 28). OPINION Before social media shaming came along, more people got away with rudeness, racism — even murder. Retrieved from The Dallas Morning News: https://www.dallasnews.com/news/watchdog/2020/05/28/before-social-media-shaming-came-along-more-people-got-away-with-rudeness-racism-and-even-murder/

Psychological Healthcare. (2017, November 14). How to Keep Calm Under Pressure. Retrieved from Psychological Healthcare: https://www.psychologicalhealthcare.com.au/blog/keep-calm-pressure/

Reuters Staff. (2008, January 14). Bjork attacks photographer in New Zealand. Retrieved from Reuters: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-bjork-idUSL0765818120080114

Urquieta, M. (2021, April 15). ESTILO DE VIDA. Retrieved from Vogue Mexico: https://www.vogue.mx/estilo-de-vida/articulo/candace-cameron-entrevista-con-vogue-mexico-sobre-radical-kindness-devotional-guide