The First Struggle

One of the most challenging aspects of mentoring is dealing with anxiety and depression that arise from the mentees' issues. Mentors often take on the emotional burdens of their mentees, akin to being a secondary parent. The saying “With great power comes great responsibility” holds true in this context, as mentors must also bear the weight of high expectations and pressures.

Throughout my years of mentoring thousands of students, I've encountered various struggles and desires from them. Some seek answers without questions, while others chase fame or wealth without clear goals. I've witnessed a vast range of experiences within just seven years.

During this time, I've faced my own challenges and personal growth. Each struggle has presented an opportunity to build resilience and understanding. Overcoming such difficulties often leads to valuable insights about oneself and the ever-changing world around us.

There have been moments when I've battled anxiety and even depression after witnessing a mentee fail or give up. As a hyperactive thinker, such experiences can keep me awake at night, consumed by thoughts of how to solve their problems. At times, this has even affected my health and well-being.

Mentors often care deeply for their mentees, acting as enduring companions who think of them even in solitude. When unable to fulfill promises of guidance, it can be disheartening, leading to the realization that sometimes, both mentor and mentee must seek new paths.

The Second Struggle

Failure is an inevitable part of mentoring. It serves as a persistent reminder to learn from past mistakes, even as we continue to encounter new challenges. Mentors frequently reflect on their failures to improve their mentoring approaches.

Despite the numerous successes, there are instances when a mentee refuses to engage meaningfully. Often, those who seem to embrace a carefree lifestyle may resist the effort required for growth. This phenomenon is particularly prevalent among youth today, who may present a façade of success without the underlying work.

Reality often serves as a harsh teacher, providing lessons that can only be learned through experience. Some mentees will be remembered as failures, yet mentors continue to support them as part of a wider community.

Failure serves as a tool for reflection and growth. It allows mentors to document performance metrics and monitor progress, even after formal mentoring has ended. This ongoing evaluation can lead to future opportunities for those mentees who are willing to strive for success.

The Third Struggle

At times, mentors must recognize when their patience has reached its limit. Some mentees may struggle with personal challenges that hinder their progress, making it necessary for mentors to reassess their involvement.

Mentors are tasked with guiding change through support and understanding. However, some mentees may not genuinely desire mentorship, leading to a difficult dynamic. In such cases, mentors might choose to step back, allowing mentees the freedom to navigate their own paths.

Over time, it's essential for mentees to learn to stand on their own. As mentors, we can only guide them for so long before they must take personal responsibility. There are moments when mentors must part ways with mentees who refuse to acknowledge their own role in the process.

Ultimately, some mentees may attempt to shift blame onto their mentors, which can be frustrating. In these instances, it's crucial for mentors to assert the importance of personal accountability.

The Fourth Struggle

One of the most pressing questions for mentors is whether to provide their services for free or to charge for their time. This dilemma is often influenced by various factors, including the nature of the mentoring relationship and regional norms.

Many mentors start as volunteers, driven by a passion for helping others. Despite offering their services without charge, they may still encounter situations where payment becomes necessary, particularly when resources are required to support mentees effectively.

In scenarios where mentees require extensive resources, mentors deserve compensation for their efforts. While some may offer their services for free, others may find it necessary to establish a payment plan to cover costs associated with mentoring.

The Fifth Struggle

Mentors often grapple with the challenge of taking credit for their mentees' successes. While they dedicate time and effort to support their growth, the question remains: should they share in the accolades or remain in the background?

Some mentees achieve remarkable success, launching startups and excelling in their fields. In such cases, mentors may feel conflicted about their role in these triumphs. Although they may not seek recognition, it's natural to feel a sense of entitlement when substantial effort has been invested.

Ultimately, mentors must remember that their primary goal is to foster growth and development in their mentees. While it's rewarding to witness their mentees succeed, the true victory lies in the mentor's ability to guide individuals toward their own paths of achievement.

Final Thoughts

Reflecting on my experiences, I believe that a mentor's role is to embrace failure as a stepping stone toward growth. The journey of mentoring is a gradual process that requires perseverance, resilience, and determination.

As mentors, we work alongside our mentees, helping them navigate the complexities of life and success. When the day comes for them to step into the world, we can take pride in knowing that we've played a part in their journey.

Stay blessed and stay safe!

With love, Riku Arikiri