Chapter 1: The Art of Observing Others

Imagine a man seated at a café, savoring a cup of coffee. Perhaps he’s engrossed in a newspaper, or maybe he’s painting, delicately dipping a brush into vibrant colors. For the sake of this narrative, let’s envision him writing in a journal.

This man might be scribbling furiously, his brow furrowed, completely oblivious to his cooling coffee. Alternatively, he could be writing with a contemplative look, staring dreamily out the window. Or perhaps he’s jotting down a mundane list of errands: tape, toothpaste, Tylenol.

Picture him again: a man at a café, sipping coffee while jotting notes in his journal. He appears to be in his twenties, dressed in dark overalls that fit his slender build, with a cigarette tucked behind his ear. In contrast, another man might be over seventy, his head bent, pen trembling as it glides across the page, reminiscent of grandfathers of yore. Then there’s the man in his fifties, hair thinning above a weathered face, a cheap suit jacket draped over the empty chair beside him.

This café scene is diverse: a young man, perhaps 25, smelling faintly of cigarettes. He could be Black, white, or of mixed heritage, with a folded copy of El Mundo resting next to the cream and sugar, a reminder of study abroad experiences.

The point is, observing people is significant. It offers insights into their lives and backgrounds, highlighting our differences and similarities. Each glance reveals unique details that tell a story. When we take the time to truly see others, our senses awaken, prompting us to speculate about their identities, histories, and destinations. Our assumptions—whether accurate or misguided—provide a mirror to our own biases and experiences. We find ourselves connecting with the world around us, whether through charm, curiosity, or even disdain.

When we engage in this practice, our emotional responses are ignited—attraction, fear, empathy. We absorb vital information about one another, fostering a silent yet profound interaction, even if no words are exchanged.

Yes, the act of watching others is essential. This is a lesson I hope to impart to students on my campus, who often seem absorbed in their phones as they navigate through life.

People-watching can serve as a simple pastime or represent a deeper evolutionary trait. It may fill time during a layover at the airport or be a fundamental aspect of maintaining community and civilization. After all, if we neglect to observe one another, we risk losing our connection to humanity. Imagine a pregnant woman on a bus, receiving no offers of a seat. Picture someone gasping for breath while nearby individuals are distracted by their devices. Or consider a thief snatching a purse as onlookers scroll through their feeds. The love of your life could pass by unnoticed, all because we are too busy checking our emails. These examples may seem extreme, but they are not far-fetched. I have witnessed the pregnant woman on the bus scenario more than once.

I, too, find myself caught in this cycle, fixated on my phone, which often feels like a reflection of my own desires and the whims of algorithms. Yet, I consciously choose to leave my phone behind on occasion, opting instead to walk or sit in public—waiting for coffee, enjoying the park with my child, or strolling around campus—without that device in hand.

Because observing others truly matters. Watching those who share our space—our neighbors, family, colleagues, and community—offers a genuine sense of belonging.

Perhaps like me, you yearn for this connection. You crave reminders of your place in a real, vast, messy, and beautiful world. You seek experiences that aren’t curated by data but are raw and authentic. The antidote I’ve discovered to the overwhelming technology in our lives lies in engaging with other people—flesh-and-blood beings who are present, observable, and real. As we immerse ourselves in one another's company, we become more human, appreciating the fragile threads that weave us together in the tapestry of life.

Exploring the significance of reaching out to past educators and the connections that shape our lives.

Delving into the profound impact of people-watching and how it connects us in meaningful ways.