As I watched my dog eagerly waiting for me to toss a stone down the hill, I recalled the concept of the pain and pleasure principle that I had heard from Tony Robbins.

In the past, I would throw the stone and take joy in seeing him race after it, barking excitedly until he finally caught it and began to chew on it. However, I've stopped this activity now.

The veterinarian warned me about the risk of him damaging a tooth, which could lead to expensive treatment and significant discomfort.

The financial burden of veterinary bills now overshadows the joy I receive from watching him play, and the potential pain he would face from a broken tooth surpasses the pleasure he gets from those chases.

Tony Robbins articulates this well, noting that we are driven by two primary motivators — the urge to avoid pain and the desire to gain pleasure. Often, the immediate rewards of short-term gratification outweigh the benefits of long-term satisfaction.

“People will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.” — Tony Robbins.

As an mBIT coach, I wanted to delve deeper into this principle to understand why we persist in behaviors that are harmful to us and struggle to engage in activities essential for reaching our goals.

Why Do We Prioritize Avoiding Pain Over Seeking Pleasure? When we encounter pain or perceive a threat, we instinctively enter survival mode. This reaction, governed by our gut, triggers a fight, flight, or freeze response. Our gut also influences our mobility, enabling us to take necessary action.

In this heightened state of fear, rational thinking and heartfelt aspirations are sidelined, as our energy is focused on surviving the immediate threat.

Consequently, our actions are primarily aimed at evading pain, while the pursuit of pleasure becomes secondary.

This principle applies to various levels of discomfort, not just significant threats.

Let’s explore some common challenges and see how we can leverage the pain and pleasure principle to our advantage.

I Want to Lose Weight but Can't Resist Junk Food. You recognize the need for dietary changes, yet find it difficult to motivate yourself to choose healthier options.

The long-term benefit of feeling lighter, fitter, and healthier is often dismissed in favor of avoiding the short-term discomfort of giving up your favorite unhealthy foods and beverages.

You opt for immediate pleasure from a beloved takeaway or sugary treat instead of waiting a few months for the benefits of abstaining from these indulgences.

Reframe Your Perspective: - How uncomfortable is it when your clothes fit too snugly? - What will your feelings be if you are diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, or hypertension? - How lazy do you feel after a heavy takeaway meal?

Transform the discomfort of unhealthy eating into a motivator for dietary improvement.

As you begin to lose weight, the thought of undoing your progress will become increasingly painful, reinforcing your commitment to healthy choices.

Seek short-term pleasure by discovering nutritious alternatives that you enjoy. Personally, I relish avocados, tropical fruits, and nuts. A large salad with tuna, eggs, olives, and seeds excites me!

As you incorporate nutritious foods that boost your energy and support weight loss, indulging in unhealthy options will begin to feel painful due to the sluggishness or discomfort they may cause.

I Want to Get Fitter but Lack the Time or Motivation to Exercise. You might have invested in a gym membership, purchased new workout gear, or downloaded an exercise app, yet everything remains untouched.

The immediate discomfort of waking up earlier or missing your favorite TV show is overshadowing the long-term reward of improved fitness and a stronger body.

Reframe Your Perspective: - How will you feel when your body becomes so stiff that it impairs your mobility? - How appealing does low energy, irritability, and physical weakness sound? - Do you want to start losing muscle mass and bone density?

Amplify the pain of inactivity to spur you into action.

Exercise releases endorphins and dopamine, which enhance your mood. The more you engage in physical activity, the more you associate movement with positive feelings, leading to both short-term satisfaction and long-term health benefits.

Find an enjoyable form of exercise to minimize discomfort. Personally, I have grown fond of yoga and Pilates — the connection with my body, the strength I gain, and the overall well-being it brings make waking up at 6 a.m. for a session worthwhile.

Picture yourself eagerly anticipating and prioritizing exercise; envision the positive feelings after a workout and the benefits it brings to your body.

Having a Business Idea That You Never Pursue. You aspire to start your own business or side hustle but never take the necessary steps. Observing others achieve their dreams and earn their own income leaves you wishing you could do the same, yet you remain stagnant.

The reality is that you hesitate to sacrifice your free time, invest in yourself, or face the possibility of failure. This inaction stems from the desire to avoid the pain associated with missing opportunities, potentially losing money, and risking time on an uncertain venture.

The long-term benefit of being your own boss, determining your income, and setting your own hours feels distant.

Reframe Your Perspective: - How will you feel in five years if you haven’t made any progress? - Imagine witnessing someone else realize your dream. - What about the feeling of unfulfilled potential? Will you continue to ignore it? - Think about the regret and disappointment of never trying.

Make the discomfort of inaction more significant than the temporary sacrifice of an evening out or facing initial discomfort.

Break down your business goal into manageable steps to regularly achieve small milestones. Each accomplishment provides a sense of short-term satisfaction, motivating you to continue.

Every time you take action toward your business, it’s a small victory bringing you closer to your dream. When excuses arise for inaction, remind yourself of your motivations and how fulfilling it will feel after completing another task.

I had previously let the fear of failure, wasting money, and worrying about others’ opinions hinder my business efforts. Now, with a clear purpose, I focus on the long-term rewards and view every action I take as a proud step towards my true aspirations.

I Want to Be in a Relationship, Yet I Push Everyone Away. If you've experienced hurt or witnessed loved ones suffer in relationships, you may associate intimacy with pain.

As mentioned in my earlier articles, I had to overcome significant perceived pain to find a healthy relationship.

The fear of getting hurt often overshadows the potential for love and happiness.

Reframe Your Perspective: - How painful is the thought of spending your life alone? - How do you feel when you observe others laughing and sharing love? - How many more gatherings do you want to attend solo?

Focus on the pain of remaining single rather than the risk of emotional hurt in a relationship.

Many individuals enjoy fulfilling relationships, and you could be among them. Reflect on the comfort, companionship, and love you see in couples around you — this is attainable for you too.

Remind yourself of the joy that comes from being cherished, respected, and listened to — start by giving these things to yourself.

Approach dating with the goal of enjoying the experience, without expectations of where it might lead. Find joy in meeting new people and getting to know them.

These challenges are significant, but the same principle applies to smaller tasks like making that awkward phone call, checking your finances, visiting a family member, or removing a bandage.

When you find yourself procrastinating or sabotaging your efforts, view the situation as a conflict between avoiding pain and seeking pleasure.

How can you shift the pain to make inaction more uncomfortable? Consider those who change their lifestyle after a severe health scare or leave a demanding job after a breakdown. These individuals have flipped their perception of pain. Don’t wait for a crisis; take charge now and adjust your mindset to align with your desired outcomes.

What immediate pleasure can you associate with taking action? Think about how relieved you will feel after making that phone call or visiting your relative. Facing your finances will empower you to regain control. Removing that bandage signifies progress in the healing journey.

I believe the concept is clear now:

Transform Pain into Motivation and Seek Immediate Gratification.