The Unspoken Struggles of a Traditional Wife
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Chapter 1: The Reality of Trad Wives
The phenomenon of Mormon trad wives has become a significant topic among social media influencers, sparking intense debates across platforms like X and TikTok.
Nara Smith, a 22-year-old model, recently shared her experience making cereal from scratch, igniting a flurry of reactions online. Estee Williams, a 25-year-old influencer, began her video with the declaration, "Traditional Wives submit to their husbands," prompting young viewers to reflect on their own career aspirations. Meanwhile, Rachel Joy, a mother of several children, expressed her belief that personal sacrifices for family are more valuable than those made for corporate success. This raises a critical question: Is sacrifice the only path available to women?
Hannah Neeleman, known as Ballerina Farm, serves as a striking example of this narrative. Her life is centered around sacrifices, yet she finds solace in her roles. Her husband, Daniel, has gifted her an egg apron for her birthday, a seemingly trivial gesture that symbolizes the depth of her commitment.
A recent article in The Times by Megan Agnew highlighted Hannah, aged 34, and her cowboy husband, alongside their eight children under twelve, posing happily in a rural backdrop. Despite her radiant smile and striking appearance, her journey began in the hallowed halls of Julliard, where she was training to be a ballerina — a dream she relinquished for family life.
"Giving up dance was incredibly challenging. It felt like losing a part of myself," she shares, acknowledging the sacrifices both she and Daniel have made. Observing their life, even Agnew implies that the burden of sacrifice rests more heavily on Hannah's shoulders.
Daniel's desires dictate many aspects of their lifestyle. He wanted to embrace the rural life, so they transitioned from the city to the countryside; he insisted on date nights, which they maintain thanks to a babysitter. The only space Hannah hoped to convert into a ballet studio has now become a classroom for her children.
Trad Wives: More Than Just Domestic Roles
It's essential to recognize that many trad wives aren't merely homemakers without careers. For instance, Gwen Swinarton, known as Gwen the Milkmaid, operates an Amazon storefront and a vintage clothing shop. Jasmine Dinnis engages in brand partnerships and skincare sales. Hannah's business includes selling meat and cookware, showcasing that she is far from the archetypal housewife.
In fact, she was crowned Mrs. American in 2023, competing shortly after giving birth to her eighth child. Her participation in pageants has boosted her social media presence, particularly on Instagram and TikTok, where she now has a following of 7 million.
Despite the stress of her lifestyle, Hannah has chosen to forgo epidurals during childbirth, except for one instance. She recalls a moment of immense pain when she opted for an epidural because Daniel was absent. "It was a transformative experience," she confides, hinting at the internal conflict she faces regarding her choices.
When she first met Daniel, Hannah was determined to pursue her ballet dream through pageant scholarships aimed at Julliard, a prestigious institution with a mere 11% acceptance rate. However, after a whirlwind romance, she found herself married and relocating to the Upper West Side, pregnant within three months.
The family soon moved to Brazil for Daniel's job, leading Hannah to leave her aspirations behind and rebrand her social media presence to "Ballerina Farm." Now based in Utah, she continues to navigate the complexities of motherhood, homeschooling, and managing her homestead, often struggling under the weight of her responsibilities.
In the video "We're Talking to Some of The People Behind the Recent 'Trad Wife' Trend," influencers discuss their motivations and the implications of their lifestyle choices.
Chapter 2: The Consequences of Tradition
In exploring trad wife narratives, we meet Jennie Gage, a 49-year-old entrepreneur and content creator whose story underscores the risks associated with traditional roles. Married at 19, Jennie faced oppressive control from her husband, leading her to abandon her education in fear of divorce.
In a candid interview, Jennie recounted the ultimatum her husband issued: "If you want to stay married to me, you cannot pursue college." Her compliance stemmed from deep-seated fears associated with their faith, highlighting the potential dangers of adhering strictly to traditional values.
Years later, after investing her efforts into a family business, she found herself left with nothing when her husband chose to divorce her. Now, through her TikTok account "Life Take Two," she shares her cautionary tale, warning others against the pitfalls of relinquishing control to a partner.
In the video "'Oppressed' by Choice: Tradwives Against Feminism," former trad wives share their experiences and perspectives on the societal expectations they faced.
The Limitations of Traditional Roles
Both Jennie and Hannah's experiences illustrate the challenges that come with traditional expectations. While some women embrace these roles, many find themselves yearning for autonomy and self-definition outside of these constraints. As Jennifer Crow, another former Mormon trad wife, notes, the lack of agency is pervasive within these communities, where women often marry without genuine desire and face societal pressure to continuously bear children.
The prevailing narrative suggests that women should derive fulfillment solely from their roles as wives and mothers. Yet, the reality for many is a struggle for identity and purpose beyond these confines.
The question remains: If traditional roles are truly fulfilling, why do these women often express a longing for their past ambitions? Women should not be coerced into accepting limited identities; they deserve the freedom to pursue their dreams, whether they be in the home or beyond.
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