Divorce can be a transformative experience, particularly for women. Reflecting on my own journey, I filed for divorce two decades ago, and it stands out as one of my best decisions, alongside the joy of motherhood. This choice not only rekindled my passion for activities like cycling and hiking but also paved the way for my writing career.

My second divorce was notably different from my first, which was brief and childless. At midlife, with two children, I faced fears yet found myself reconsidering marriage and relationships deeply. This led to conversations with my mother about her own experiences, regrets, and the bold choice to live apart from my father for many years—something I honor in my latest book, LATitude: How You Can Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work.

Women, who initiate around 70% of divorces, often resonate with sentiments expressed by public figures like model Emily Ratajkowski, who highlighted the empowering aspects of divorce. Research supports this, suggesting that many individuals experience increased autonomy and personal growth after a split, particularly women who often find renewed self-confidence and better opportunities.

Interestingly, divorce can also enhance a woman's libido. A study of older divorcees revealed that stepping away from traditional roles opened up new avenues for sexual exploration, emphasizing women's rights to seek pleasure despite societal restrictions.

The current political climate, with some conservatives advocating for the repeal of no-fault divorce, is troubling. The introduction of no-fault divorce has correlated with declines in domestic violence and other serious issues faced by women. The push for more restrictive marriage laws, such as covenant marriages, threatens to put women and children at risk, reinforcing traditional roles that may not serve modern families well.

I recall a debate with an advocate for abolishing no-fault divorce, who shared her lengthy struggle with her own divorce. This experience highlighted how contentious divorces can be detrimental to children, illustrating the need for conflict-free resolutions.

As marriage rates decline in the U.S., I foresee an increase in cohabitation and alternative relationship structures. More couples may opt for commitment ceremonies without legal ties, demonstrating a shift in how relationships are viewed.

If fault-based divorce becomes prevalent, many might choose to separate before laws change, maintaining the appearance of marriage for practical reasons. Given that women often outlive their partners and are primary caregivers, the pressure to remain in unsatisfactory marriages could increase.

The trend toward amicable separations is gaining traction, with many couples opting for mediation to avoid the emotional and financial strain of traditional divorce proceedings. Conflict in divorce, rather than divorce itself, tends to harm children, making it crucial to find peaceful resolutions.

While "bad behavior" remains a reason for many divorces, dissatisfaction in long-term marriages often leads to separation. Research shows that couples frequently grow apart over time, which can be more impactful than traditional reasons for divorce.

For those concerned about children in divorce, it’s important to recognize that a marriage certificate does not guarantee a healthy environment for raising children. What matters is the commitment of parents to provide love and support, regardless of their marital status.

The movement against no-fault divorce appears to stem from a desire to keep women in relationships that no longer fulfill them. This approach can perpetuate negative dynamics and prevent individuals from seeking healthier alternatives.

As renowned therapist Esther Perel states, betrayal can manifest in various forms, not just infidelity. Emotional neglect and indifference are equally damaging, raising the question of why anyone should be compelled to endure such behaviors.

Women are increasingly questioning the benefits of marriage, often feeling societal pressure to conform. The push for more stringent divorce laws will likely drive more individuals to consider alternatives to traditional marriage.

If advocates truly wish to encourage marriage, making divorce more challenging is counterproductive.

I am an accomplished journalist and author of LATitude: How You Can Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work and co-author of The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists, and Rebels. Follow my work on various platforms, and consider supporting my writing for greater access to diverse perspectives.