Chapter 1: Understanding the Inner Urge

Experiencing a seismic shift in life—whether from unexpected change, loss, grief, or trauma—often ignites a deep, nagging feeling within us. This feeling compels us to confront the chaos of unaddressed emotions and feelings we might prefer to ignore, as long as we can avoid acknowledging them.

This internal struggle insists that the way to escape the fog is to excavate our buried feelings and cleanse the emotional slate. It calls for surrender, renewal, and a shift from autopilot to intentional living. We need to observe, reflect, and perhaps even reconsider everything around us.

It's essential to assess your current position and the journey that led you here. Disconnecting from societal pressures and reconnecting with your true self—full of potential and dreams—is crucial. Embrace the idea of dreaming bigger, loving deeper, and giving more.

To be truly present and empathetic, we must allow ourselves the vulnerability of honesty, often for the first time. Although it’s disheartening, these life-altering moments can spark significant growth and evolution. They may lead to emotional breakthroughs, opportunities to mend fractured relationships, or the courage to step away from toxic connections. Changes in career paths or the pursuit of lifelong dreams often emerge from these pivotal experiences.

To manifest these essential shifts, we often begin with a blank canvas, emerging from the depths of despair, feeling as though there’s nothing more to lose.

If we are honest, we might find ourselves languishing in that cold, dark place—perhaps feeling numb, indifferent, or even angry, yet undeniably suffering. Eventually, we reach a point where we decide to stop enduring that pain and start plotting our escape. We ponder our deepest desires and craft plans for how we can achieve them. If we are ambitious, we may also consider who we wish to become and how we want to navigate the world moving forward.

When was the last time you felt that intense urge to shake things up? When did you last think, "This isn't working; something must change"?

When did you take a moment to sit down with a blank piece of paper and ask yourself, "What do I truly want?"

I challenge you to do this now—without fear, restrictions, or logic. Just ask yourself, “What do I WANT?” Let it pour out from deep within you.

Say it aloud.

Then say it again, amplifying its audacity and absurdity.

And, because I’m inclined to stir the pot, let’s ask again: What do you really want?

Now, jot that down. Write more. Embrace the audacity. Go wild and don't hold back.

I dare you.

Then, just go and do it.

Chapter 2: The Power of Desires

I desire to inhabit a state of joy and create a sanctuary of safety around me. I want to embrace life with enthusiasm, relishing sunsets and the unique flavor of my first (or seventh) sip of cold brew coffee—a sip that truly nourishes my soul.

I want to appreciate every little creature around me and revel in the intricacies of sound within my favorite songs. I wish to feel the powerful presence that comes from enjoying live music.

I yearn to greet the gentle bats at dusk, cherishing their soft sounds while soaking in every moment with my grown children. Honestly, I even want to vacuum up dog hair with pride and joy.

I want to bask in the joy that comes from loving my tribe, dancing to every beat, and creating my own rhythms as I navigate life.

I want to welcome life’s challenges, even amidst dark times and grief, while celebrating every Friday morning. I want to create silly holidays to add a little zest to the mundane.

I want to schedule moonlit adventures and witness shooting stars, even if I sometimes end up with nothing to show for it. I want to remember gratitude for the journey itself.

I want to push my limits and challenge the world around me. I want to take risks and defy societal expectations while surrounding myself with those who appreciate my unique spirit.

Ultimately, I want to create a life filled with love, freedom, courage, patience, empathy, and joy. I want to laugh deeply and authentically, embracing the silliness of life.

Above all, I want to feel alive—connecting with people from all walks of life and engaging with the world’s injustices. I want to invoke change and foster community through authentic expression.

I want to discover truths that resonate deeply, carving out paths less traveled to share the experience of genuine living with others.

I want to heal from past wounds and cultivate self-love. I aim to find peace in solitude while also yearning for a true partnership—an equal to share this journey with.

So, with all these desires laid bare, I’m ready to embrace the adventure ahead. Let’s meet at the summit, my friends.

If this resonates with you, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Your support is appreciated, and don’t forget to follow me for more insights into the neurodivergent experience. You can also find me on IG & TT @gigi_stella_audhd.