OBSERVATION # 1: SOCIETAL SHAMING IS POWERFUL

In our culture, knowing what we want is often frowned upon. Society tends to emphasize what is deemed right or acceptable, leading many to value a clear understanding of what they don't want over knowing their true desires. This perspective often labels those who are clear about their wants as selfish, despite the flood of self-help messages promoting self-awareness.

My relationship with dogs was non-existent until recently, but after seeing a photo of a Bernese Mountain Dog, I decided that this breed would be my future companion. When the time came to adopt, I found no suitable matches in shelters and opted for a breeder instead.

The backlash was immediate: “Do you know how breeders treat their dogs?” “Is it right to profit from these animals when so many are abandoned?” People expressed their dismay as if I were committing a grave sin. In human resources, this parallels the criticism faced by a manager who hires a top graduate over a less-credentialed candidate with experience.

I explained my position: “I sought out shelters, but they didn’t have what I wanted. I have a specific vision for my puppy. Why should I compromise when I see no suitable alternatives?”

“Because you should care. It’s important,” they insisted.

OBSERVATION # 2: OBEDIENCE AND CONTROL SIMPLIFY LIFE

Many claim that raising a dog prepares one for parenting. I can’t speak to that, having had my children first. Yet, within a week of bringing my puppy home, I learned more about parenting than I had over the past fifteen years.

Three days into this new role, I found myself overwhelmed. My puppy was everywhere, chewing on anything within reach, including me and my kids’ belongings. I realized I needed to assert control over my home by establishing firm rules for her behavior.

My puppy's biting was a wake-up call; it hurt and demanded immediate attention. My children, in their own ways, also provoke strong emotional responses. I’ve learned to communicate and navigate misunderstandings with them, but with a puppy, there's no room for deep psychological discussions. Quick, decisive actions are necessary to prevent escalation.

The strategy is straightforward: command, reward, repeat. This method establishes clear expectations but limits the puppy's ability to make choices. As long as her basic needs are met, she seems content to follow my lead.

In contrast, humans are multifaceted beings who thrive on deeper connections, often stifled by control and obedience. Too often, we treat employees and children like obedient puppies, fearing their pushback.

OBSERVATION # 3: DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION TRULY THRIVE WITH DOGS

Social media encourages us to embrace equality, but in practice, we often gravitate towards those who resemble us. However, when it comes to puppies, people across all demographics unite in their affection for these endearing creatures. This phenomenon represents one of the few instances of genuine diversity and inclusion in action.

OBSERVATION # 4: HUMILITY COMES FROM EMBRACING THE MESS

No matter how luxurious your clothing, a puppy will find a way to soil it. Despite your best cleaning efforts, your home will still carry the unmistakable scent of a dog. Regardless of how much you invest in premium supplies, a puppy will inevitably destroy them.

Even the most well-planned strategies can go awry; my puppy will resist the leash regardless of how well-researched it is. Despite my extensive preparation through training videos and sessions, I learned that experienced trainers set boundaries from the start, while I often wait, hoping my puppy will intuitively understand.

This realization struck me as a parallel to my personal relationships, where I often allow issues to persist, hoping they’ll resolve themselves.

Ultimately, no amount of experience or preparation can shield you from the challenges of raising a puppy. Each journey of trust-building requires patience and simplicity, both with dogs and in human interactions.

OBSERVATION # 5: A SLOW PACE ENHANCES APPRECIATION FOR TIME

In our pre-pandemic rush, many of us struggled to find moments of respite amidst our obligations. During the pandemic, the confines of home life forced many into a monotonous routine, leaving little room for genuine interaction. Walking my puppy, however, became a cherished luxury that instilled focus and discipline in my life.

Every aspect of my puppy’s behavior is new to me, requiring careful attention. Unlike my children, she doesn’t wear a diaper, so I must prioritize taking her outside promptly. Her unpredictable antics challenge me to adapt, forcing me to slow down and appreciate the world around me.

These leisurely walks have transformed my perception of time, allowing me to engage with my surroundings and alleviate my anxieties. Perhaps if leaders took the time to slow down and engage with their teams, they would foster deeper connections.

BONUS OBSERVATION: LEADERSHIP AND TRAINING ARE DISTINCT

Finally, my journey with my puppy has taught me that leadership exists in two forms: control-based and choice-based. While leadership and training are often conflated, they require entirely different skill sets and objectives. Leadership aims to guide individuals or teams toward a shared vision, while training focuses on optimizing individual capabilities.

I choose to embody a humanistic leadership style. I find control draining, while my puppy requires a trainer to prepare her for my emotional and peer-oriented approach. I recognize that no leader can succeed in isolation.