Finding Clarity in Complexity: Three Questions for Spiritual Growth
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Chapter 1: A Personal Journey Through Faith
I must admit something.
Although I sought refuge in Buddhism several years ago—committing to the Buddha (the teacher), the Dharma (the teachings), and the Sangha (the community)—I am not the ideal person to guide others on how to practice Buddhism effectively.
The Quest for Understanding
My journey began with a desire to challenge my father's dinner-table sermons about God and the sinful world. This sparked a quest to explore various religions.
Over time, my exploration continued, driven by my role as a therapist. My clients come from diverse religious backgrounds, and I aim to understand how their beliefs shape their worldviews.
This article isn’t meant to be an exhaustive analysis of world religions. Instead, it recounts my experiences that led me to formulate three transformative questions. To my knowledge, these questions align well with the essence of every theological perspective I've encountered.
Initially, I wanted to understand why so many religious paths exist and, more critically, to find the ultimate truth. Ultimately, my goal was to grasp the fundamental aspects of a phenomenon that significantly influences many lives.
I believe no single religion holds all the answers. Yet, I respect the right of individuals to seek answers through established religious practices.
At their core, most religions advocate love for one another, but the means to achieve this often appear unnecessarily complicated. Perhaps this simply reflects my own resistance to rigid structures.
Chapter 2: Early Religious Influences
Growing up, I was surrounded by a somewhat detached relationship with Protestant beliefs. I was confirmed first in the Lutheran church and then in the Methodist church during my early teens, which established my initial framework.
I read through much of the New Testament and some Old Testament texts. Viewing the Bible as allegorical—stories meant to impart lessons—rather than as a strict historical account allowed me to find meaning, particularly in the teachings attributed to Jesus. His words resonated with me as they suggested an underlying principle in the universe that promotes a fulfilling life.
However, both testaments raised unresolved questions. Over time, I accepted that life presents more questions than definitive answers. Influential works like Anne Frank's Diary and Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning fueled my ongoing quest to understand the conflicts that arise from differing beliefs.
Section 2.1: Encountering Fundamentalism
In my late teens, I briefly resided in a small Tennessee town, where I attended a fundamentalist church. Witnessing practices like speaking in tongues and ecstatic worship felt overwhelmingly foreign. Despite the congregation's kindness, the experience was so starkly different from my Midwest upbringing that I never returned.
Section 2.2: A Brush with Catholicism
At nineteen, my family returned to Chicago, where my father’s strong opposition to Catholicism influenced my rebellious choice to marry an Irish Catholic ironworker. He introduced me to joy without embodying the darker visions my father feared.
To ensure that Catholicism wasn't my permanent path, I delved into the lives of notable Catholic mystics like Teresa of Avila and Thomas Merton. While their perspectives intrigued me, they did not anchor me to that tradition.
Chapter 3: Diverse Explorations
I explored Sufism, an Islamic practice emphasizing an inward search for God and rejecting materialism. Although I appreciated the warmth of the gatherings, I never felt a true connection.
I attended a couple of Quaker meetings, where the sincerity and simplicity were appealing. However, I recognized that I struggle with adherence to rules, which prevented me from pursuing this path further.
My journey also led me to Jewish Kabbalah, a mystical tradition explaining the relationship between God and creation. Despite my fascination, I found it challenging to engage deeply without sufficient background knowledge.
Eventually, I turned to Eastern religions and found myself drawn to the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism:
- Suffering exists.
- Craving is the source of suffering.
- The cessation of suffering comes from relinquishing craving.
- There is a path leading away from suffering (the Noble Eightfold Path).
My understanding evolved to recognize that suffering can arise from both chance events and self-imposed challenges. I sought to reduce both types.
While I actively participated in Buddhist communities, I ultimately stepped back. I observed that prolonged group dynamics can sometimes lead to a lack of accountability, a phenomenon I encountered across various faiths.
Though I no longer formally identify with a specific Buddhist community, I continue to value its teachings. I meditate, strive for mindfulness, and attend retreats when the opportunity arises.
Section 3.1: Embracing Spirituality
My explorations have fostered a deeper acceptance of the inevitability of suffering in life. I respect everyone’s efforts to navigate existence more skillfully, and religion often provides valuable frameworks for many.
These days, my approach to spirituality is refreshingly simple.
Chapter 4: The Power of Naikan Therapy
Naikan therapy, originating in Japan, promotes gratitude and self-reflection, using our relationships as mirrors for self-discovery. This practice encourages us to focus less on daily concerns and more on our interactions with others. Through introspection, we gain insights that can lead to more fulfilling relationships.
If I were to define my spirituality, it would revolve around Naikan Therapy's three straightforward daily questions:
- What did I receive from others today?
- What did I give to others today?
- What difficulties did I cause others today?
The first two questions are relatively easy to answer. The first prompts gratitude for the kindness I’ve received, while the second encourages awareness of missed opportunities to be of service.
The third question, however, requires deeper reflection. It’s about recognizing nuanced behaviors that may negatively impact others, such as ignoring someone's need for attention or responding thoughtlessly.
Imagine if everyone, regardless of their faith—be it Catholic, agnostic, Protestant, Muslim, Sufi, Quaker, Buddhist, or atheist—took a moment at day’s end to reflect on these three questions. Perhaps our differences would seem less significant.
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Chapter 5: Insights and Reflections
The first video, "Why We Left The Mennonites, Adoption Story, Plus more Questions Answered!" delves into personal experiences and insights surrounding faith, family, and community.
The second video, "Anne Wilson - Sunday Sermons (Official Music Video)," offers a reflection on spiritual themes through music, inviting viewers into a contemplative space.