Chapter 1: Understanding Social Connections

In the 1990s, anthropologist and psychologist Robin Dunbar proposed that there is a cognitive cap on the number of stable social relationships one can maintain. But what constitutes a stable relationship? Beyond merely knowing someone’s name and believing they don’t dislike you, a more refined definition would suggest that a stable relationship allows for a meaningful conversation. For instance, would you feel comfortable leaving a compliment on their post about their recent European vacation?

Dunbar’s own definition states that a stable relationship is someone you wouldn’t feel awkward about inviting for a drink if you encountered them unexpectedly. This is a humorous yet relatable benchmark, unless, of course, you find yourself in a peculiar situation, such as dressed as a banana when you meet them.

According to Dunbar, when the number of stable relationships exceeds 150, individuals must implement systems and rules to maintain group cohesion, a task that can otherwise be managed mentally for smaller groups. This magic number, as Dunbar suggested, is 150.

For your first 150 friends, you should ideally know their current job, the names of their pets (and perhaps their kids), share an emotional bond, and remember a few interesting tidbits about them—creating a connection that transcends a mere glance at a dating app profile.

After surpassing this threshold, the depth of your connection may wane. You might forget a pet's name or fail to recall that someone is pursuing a career in finance strategy—a vague term, at best.

Malcolm Gladwell, in his book The Tipping Point, discusses a company known for its Gore-Tex fabric that built new office spaces whenever the workforce in a previous location exceeded 150. This approach encouraged a more open company culture, shifting from a hierarchical system to one where employees were primarily accountable to their peers.

It’s logical that our capacity to manage relationships is limited; after all, our ancestors in Africa likely only interacted with a handful of close acquaintances. However, the internet has transformed this paradigm. Nowadays, it’s possible to share your opinions with millions within moments, leading to a day filled with debates over trivial matters, like pizza toppings.

While Dunbar attributed his number to brain size, this theory has faced challenges, and various studies suggest different thresholds. Thus, it’s prudent to approach Dunbar’s figure of 150 with some skepticism.

If it turns out that the true limit is indeed around 150, it’s intriguing to consider how social media has reshaped our connections. Dunbar would argue that anyone boasting over 150 Facebook friends is unlikely to genuinely know all of them.

If you find yourself with more than 150 Facebook friends (or LinkedIn connections for the corporate crowd), it might be worthwhile to reflect: with whom would you genuinely enjoy grabbing an unplanned drink? You might want to consider trimming your list.

After all, it’s only a matter of time before an acquaintance from high school tries to pull you into a dubious multi-level marketing scheme. It’s wise to prioritize your true connections and stick with your real tribe.

This video titled "How To Delete All Facebook Friends In One Click" provides a comprehensive guide on managing your Facebook friends list efficiently, allowing you to focus on meaningful relationships.

Chapter 2: Streamlining Your Connections

In the video "How To Remove Multiple Facebook Friends At Once," you can learn effective strategies for tidying up your friends list and enhancing your social media experience.