The Pain and Pleasure Principle

In 2019, I discovered the "pain and pleasure" principle through Tony Robbins' book, Awaken the Giant Within. Robbins asserts that our decisions are often influenced by the desire to move away from pain and toward pleasure. I became fascinated by this concept and began applying it in challenging situations.

For instance, I reflected on the emotional, financial, and psychological struggles I faced while chasing my dreams. As an immigrant, I often worked exhausting labor jobs that drained my energy, leaving little room for my aspirations. I realized that staying in such jobs would only lead to future pain without any fulfillment. This revelation made the choice to leave those jobs easier, especially when I considered the potential joy of achieving my dreams.

“Pleasure and pain participate equally in molding character.” — Abhijit Naskar

Choosing Your Hard

“Everything is hard, but you choose your hard. You don’t choose whether or not you’ll suffer, but you do choose what you want to suffer for.” — Brianna Weist

While browsing LinkedIn, I came across a powerful reminder: “To work at a job is hard. To work at your dreams is hard. Choose your hard.” This phrase resonated deeply, especially as I grappled with my fear of failure. Ultimately, I recognized that the discomfort of pursuing my dreams was preferable to the pain of remaining stagnant.

Deathbed Regrets

One significant realization that helped me conquer my fear of failure was the idea of deathbed regrets. Knowing what I want from life and feeling the weight of not pursuing it is unbearable. The thought of looking back on my life with regret drives me forward.

Unlike someone who is unsure of their purpose, I have clarity about mine. The thought of passing without realizing my potential is a pain I refuse to carry to my grave.

Rumi's Wisdom

“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying who hears or what they think.” — Rumi

How do you feel when you read this quote? Does it free you from the chains of fear, or do you still feel trapped? My experience shows that fear of failure often stems from the fear of judgment. Society tends to impose constraints that make stepping outside the norm daunting.

However, a quote from a documentary I watched, where Deepak Chopra stated, “If you can live your life like that, you can succeed at anything,” inspired me to adopt a carefree attitude toward judgment. This shift has empowered me to focus on my journey without concern for others’ opinions.

The Key to Action

Overcoming obstacles is challenging, and many feel paralyzed by hopelessness. I, too, faced this struggle. But I reached a turning point when I realized that if I failed after making a decision, I could always return to a job. The stakes of regret were far greater than the fear of failure.

So, I chose to act, and while I’m still not living my dream fully, I’m taking actionable steps. I’m sharing my truth more openly and allowing myself to be vulnerable in my writing—something I previously hesitated to do due to fear of judgment.

I’m also investing in my growth by enrolling in courses, hiring a coach, and even committing to live video sessions to enhance my public speaking skills. These efforts are crucial because merely making a decision isn’t sufficient; action is what truly brings dreams to life.

Final Thoughts

Many of you might find yourselves in a situation similar to mine, struggling to overcome fears and pursue your true desires. I encourage you to adopt the principles that helped me:

• The “pain and pleasure” principle
• The “choose your hard” principle
• The concept of deathbed regrets
• Rumi’s empowering quote
• The understanding that returning to a job is always an option if I fail

Don’t let fear of failure imprison you. It’s time to embrace your authentic self and take the first steps toward your dreams.

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