Section 1.1: The Role of Communication in Relationships

I cannot emphasize enough the significance of communication. Therapists often highlight that effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and they continue to reiterate this truth for a reason.

Disregard any advice from the wellness coach claiming to have all the answers about twin flames—if someone struggles to communicate with you in a constructive manner, they are unlikely to be your ideal partner or future spouse. They may just be someone consuming your time, energy, and affection.

While I’m not suggesting that a person must be a flawless communicator to be considered a twin flame, I do believe they should be open to honest discussions. Effective communication can look different for everyone, but those who genuinely care for one another will find ways to connect and understand each other.

Reflecting on my last two significant relationships, I learned a lot. The first woman I believed was my twin flame never engaged in healthy communication with me, nor did I with her. Our “relationship” was marked by obsession, manipulation, and a lack of authenticity. I was often desperate, which likely stemmed from a deep-seated mistrust in our connection.

In contrast, the second woman I viewed as my twin flame came into my life unexpectedly. From the very beginning, our communication was characterized by openness and mutual respect. Whenever we had disagreements, we addressed them together. Even when misunderstandings arose, neither of us resorted to prolonged silence; rather, our communication deepened over time.

It became clear that my previous relationship was unhealthy and not a real partnership. Had I stubbornly clung to the idea that twin flames must engage in toxic dynamics, I would have continued to rationalize her harmful actions as my own shortcomings.

Why is it that the worst relationships often require the most elaborate justifications?

Fortunately, love is not a competition. While lust and obsession may create conflict, unconditional love is readily available. A true twin flame relationship should demonstrate that love can transcend differences in culture, race, or background. How can you showcase this when there hasn’t been communication in months? That only illustrates a dependency, not true love.

I understand that you’ve invested time in someone, and I don’t want to deter you from your journey. Each person has their own lessons to learn. Many may claim that twin flame relationships involve silence, separation, and justifications for poor behavior—such as the idea that “they love you even when they don’t show it.” While it may sound endearing, it can also be misguided.

Personally, that viewpoint wore me down. I struggled to find peace while trying to maintain a relationship with someone who seemed to lead a life entirely apart from mine. Once I relinquished the need to be “right” about my twin flame beliefs, I was able to meet someone truly deserving of my love.

Neither of us needed to be perfect; we simply needed to communicate effectively.

And that’s precisely what we continue to do.

I encourage you to seek someone who shares this approach. Otherwise, you risk squandering the love you currently possess, and if you’re anything like me, there’s only so much love left to give freely.